considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
