The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize