sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
