had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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