Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
