she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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