I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize