I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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