The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
