Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize