Pants 0. Shit 1.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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