Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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