the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
