it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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