He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
