All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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