I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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