someone get that fucking seahorse.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
