sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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