I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
