I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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