isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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