belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
