And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
