i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
