The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
