I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
