I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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