she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
