Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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