So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So apparently I’m into choking now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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