He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Mom said you looked used
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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