Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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