I can text with my tongue
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
