i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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