she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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