It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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