i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize