Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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