Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
