I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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