There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
