Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
