Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
