I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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