You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
