So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
