just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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