separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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