Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
