Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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