I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
