Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize