i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
