I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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