I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
