Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
