I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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