totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
