Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am naked and annoyed.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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