my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
