Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
