I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
