we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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