I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
